Because It Matters
I am not ashamed of having had an abortion. No one else should be ashamed either.
In my case, I chose the best, worst-choice in a sea of horrible choices. Does it make me sad? Yes. Do I mourn? Yes. Did I make the correct decision? Yes. Abortion is a chapter in my story, but not my whole story. It does not define my worth or scorch my character. And, I am real. #YouKnowMe.
Today, I am a foster-adoptive-bio mom. I quit working in a profession that I loved (and was really really good at) to raise my children. That’s how much I choose life. That’s how much I want to raise children. I completely reinvented myself so that I can stay home full time to take care of them – that’s how much I choose life. That’s how much I want to raise children. I have placed any resemblance of a social life entirely on hold, as many of us do. That’s how much I choose life and want to raise children. I have been a foster parent for children who need a parent desperately in their lives because of a society that values the unborn more than the living. That’s how much I choose life and want to raise children. Don’t tell me I’m not pro-life.
I can’t imagine a more awesome responsibility than raising a child. Raising a child to know kindness and love and inclusion and tolerance and right from wrong is a full time job. Raising a child with a moral backbone and the desire to make our home, meaning our planet, a better place; that takes investment. There are a whole lot of other things I could be doing with my time. But, that’s how much I choose life and want to raise children.
Even though I wanted to start a family sooner than I did, I couldn’t. I couldn’t because when I got pregnant, even if my child had made it to full term, he would have died a slow, painful death. My child would not have had any quality of life. The child I was carrying, would have been born and suffered for me and no one else. He would have been born and died because I wanted to be a mother desperately. And to make another person suffer that way … intentionally … that is just selfish.
When I found out I was pregnant with him, it was the most exciting news I had ever received. I would have done ANYTHING to save my child if it was possible. And while I will honor the wishes of others who make different decisions for their own children and body, I respectfully request, you stay the hell away from mine.
If you choose to know me, abortion is part of who I am. Having a safe, legal abortion was an essential piece of this story. I view having control over my body and reproductive system as a basic human right. Abortion is part of our story in becoming the family we have become. It is literally and figuratively a chapter in my journey.
If you hung on through this post and you’d like to read my abortion story, here is an excerpt from a book I wrote … while it is not the focus of my book, it is a literal chapter from my story. Please share my experience so that others may understand, become educated, and have compassion for people who are in completely different shoes than themselves…
The excerpt above is from my book:
Bangles, Bindis and Babies: Becoming a Family
Thanks for sharing your story. I understand, support you, and completely agree. No one has the right to tell a woman when to have a baby, or how to plan her family, or run her life. Anything else is fanatics seeking political domination, social control, and the most extreme subjugation of women– none of which the fanatics have any legitimate claim to.
Thank you Kirby. We need men like you standing up, speaking out, and supporting people like me (and those who will come after me). I appreciate your kind words.
You continue to blow me away with your extraordinariness! Thank you, Elizabeth!
Thank you Gail <3