Do you have a fear of termites? My girls do. It’s called Isopterophobia (It’s a thing! Google says so.) Or are you obsessed with insects like my son? I call it insect-mania. (That’s more made up.) 

When you put those two emotions and my three together, this is what you get …

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SoCal houses are framed with wood and covered in stucco. The warm sun keeps everything nice and dry and tasty. Termites love it here. Around town, you can always find a house tented. Malik has been totally obsessed with finding homes that are tented and educating us about termites.

On the way to school Monday morning, Malik stared out the window of the car. As we drove by a house a few blocks from ours he noticed a bright red and yellow tent. “Oh look Mom! It’s a tented house. They have termites! I wonder what kind they have?” He looks out the window enthusiastically pointing.

“I don’t like termites!” Isabella informs us all from her seat. 

Malik grabs his backpack as I park the car, “Those little guys eat up wood and paper! Your house can become dust!” he tells us as I close the car doors and we all head for the crosswalk.

Blu scrunches her nose, “I don wan to have our house in a tent.”

“I don’t want to move Mom! I love our house. I don’t want termites to move in! Ew!” Isabella chimes in dramatically, arms folded as we cross the street. 

Blu whimpers a little, “Not my haus!”

I interject, “If we get termites, we’ll just move out for like a week. Then we’ll go back to our house. The toys and everything else will still all be there. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You mean we won’t have a house for a week? Where will we live?” Isabella looks concerned as she climbs onto a little cinder block wall holding her arms up like an airplane to balance.

I answer, taking Blu’s hand. She’s next in line for the balance beam. “Well, we would go to a hotel or rent a place for a week and then come back home once the workers are all done tenting.”

Malik jumps off the wall first. He was the line leader. “Wait a minute!” His index finger goes into the air. “So, you’re saying we’d have to leave the house for a whole week?”

I’m curious why they are getting so worked up about this. “Yes, but it’ll be fine. It’ll be like when we go on a trip.”

Isabella asks, her eyes wide, “A trip?”

“Wait a minute! Like Tahoe?” Malik’s hamster wheel starts spinning.

It clicks in at the same time for all three of them. Isabella, Malik, and Blu start jumping up and down.

Isabella exclaims, “No, let’s do Disneyland!”

Malik agrees, “Yeah! Disneyland for a whole week! 

Blu jumps up and down too, “I so esscited! I wuv Dizzyran.” 

“Can we miss school?” Malik asks enthusiastically.

“Wait a minute guys! We aren’t getting our house tented. We don’t have termites!”

All three of them stop jumping and look at me, silent.

“Oh!” It’s Isabella’s turn, “Well how can we get some?”

Kids: 1               Mom: 0

Well played kids … well played.