Can We Get A Dog?
Can we get a dog?
Hells to the no …
maybe …
probably ….
okay …
yes.
It’s a dog!
It’s going to be a dog.
We aren’t exactly sure what type of dog we are going to get yet, but we are aiming for a “career change” dog. If you aren’t hip to the lingo, a career change dog is a dog that has the temperament to become a therapy dog, but can’t quite get past squirrels, which is perfect for us, because neither can we.
So far I may seem calm and collected, but I’m sort of freaking out. I can’t believe we are doing this. I’m not a “dog person”. I mean, I don’t not like dogs, but taking care of a dog sounds an awful lot like having another child – except the poop doesn’t squish securely into a convenient little diaper strapped to its butt. A dog doesn’t grow up and get smarter and eventually do everything independently (like make its own meal). It needs a bowl with food at regular intervals … for the rest of its life. It requires consistency and you have to always be there for it. You have to groom a dog, clean all that hair and drool around your house, deal with chewed up stuff and doggie breath. Ewww, doggie breath. You can’t just up and go to India for a month if you have a dog. I mean, it can’t get quarantined every time you want to take a trip, can it? That doesn’t seem fair or kind. It’s not like a kid, dogs are pretty regularly stinky and we’ll need a trainer (because I don’t know what I’m doing).
Okay, I’m totally freaking out.
You can roll your eyes at this. Like half the planet has dogs. People do the dog thing every day. They are everywhere. But I have to imagine the ownership percentage whittles down when you also have a 3, 7 and 8-year-old. It must, right? Keep ‘em rolling – Imma not done.
I was totally camp tarantula. A lizard is super cool too and their diet is easy peasy. A tarantula even has hair!
My husband assures me you can have a much more meaningful relationship with a dog than a lizard. And, although I have 15 years of reasons to question his judgment in family planning decision making matters, I know in my heart of hearts a dog will be good for my kids. So, I will invest in this super meaningful relationship that will build confidence and responsibility and friendship and trust and security and love and companionship and make for adorable family moments and memories.
I’m going to just jump in and own it.
I’m game.
Let’s do this!
Operation dreaming of doggy days has commenced. There is no going back now. There’s no going back because we already broke the news to our doe eyed children and they are eagerly awaiting the day they fill in their Dreaming of Doggy Days Dog Poster Board Puzzle.
All the kids are working for this dog with individual goals. I’m not going to identify which kid has which behavioral challenge, but let’s just say, we are collectively working on our habitual eye-rolling, respecting the family dinner process, walking into the classroom like a champ without saying “mama” and holding onto my leg, personal bubbles and volume control. They don’t get a puzzle piece every time this stuff does or does not happen, but they do if they accomplish one of these goals during a time we know it would be otherwise difficult.
In the meantime, we listen to a lot of…
“I want a pug!”
“Pugs are sooo cute.”
“Have you ever seen a pug tail? I mean awwwwww.”
“Oh, how about a chiweenie?”
“A chiiiiiiwweeeeeeeeennnnniiiiieeeee.”
“If we can’t have a chiweenie, can we name it chiweenie?”
“Mom, do you know who Cesar Millan is?”
Whispers, “He’s the dog whisperer!”
“He knows all about naughty dogs. Will our dog be naughty?”
“How about Dogs with Jobs? There are lots of ideas for good dogs on that show!”
“I want a labradoodle”
“What about a double doodle mom?”
“Cesar says you need to be calm and assertive.”
“The dog will need to have rules. Just like us.”
“Oh! Excuse me! Excuse me!” My children now chase after dog owners.
“What kind of dog do you have?”
“Okay, and how old is your dog?”
“Oh, your dog is older than my sister!”
“Is it a boy or a girl dog?”
“My sister is a girl! Wow!”
“Do you like your dog?”
“I like my sister!”
“I am so relieved that we are getting a Belgian shepherd.”
“A Belgian shepherd is the dog for us.”
They have lots of ideas about who we’ll end up with and really are doing some field work.
The final reason this is a terrible idea is, of course, that one day, in about 8 -14 years, their little hearts will be ripped out from their sweet little chests when their fury companion is no more.
But, they will be better for it.
And so will I.
Doggone it Liz!! Who let the dogs out, woof, woof, woof!! Papison.
I love you!
Wow. The process of getting it sounds exciting. Hold on for a few months. More excitement.